I used to be a terrible boss: Over-reacting to things, carrying a dark cloud with me, and constantly distracted by the “crisis” of the moment. I even drove myself crazy!
The above is all true, if overstated a bit. However, the pain I caused myself, not to mention other people, became too much. I knew I had to change.
That work has taken a long time and will never be done. I am grateful for the progress I have made.
One of the wonderful things that has happened in my life was being given the opportunity to facilitate Remodelers Advantage Roundtable peer group meetings by Linda Case and Victoria Downing, owners of the company. That was years ago.
I have learned a lot about being a better leader/boss through being a facilitator. Because I was still an owner of our remodeling business for the first seven years of being a facilitator, I was able to take some of those lessons and use them in my work to be a better employer.
What did I learn?
Inspire, Don’t Tell
When facilitating, you need to get others to talk. But simply forcing them to do so can paralyze some people. You need to help them feel comfortable raising their hand and giving in order to get.
Early on in the life of our business, I thought that saying something over and over again made those I was working with “get it.” I was wrong. They were put off by my manner and weren’t truly paying attention at all!
What did work better was to focus on our Mission Statement and Core Values at the beginning of a company meeting. By asking an employee to bring to the next company meeting an example of another employee bringing to life some aspect of the Mission Statement and Core Values, I learned how our people interpreted them. Their interpretations ARE what your clients experience.
By backing off on telling, I was helping those I worked with learn more about one another and me. I was facilitating the conversation, not delivering a monologue.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Getting people to open up can be hard. By asking open-ended questions instead of Yes/No questions, you learn more about what people are thinking. “Tell me more,” “That is important to you because…” and “How does not being able to do that effect you?” are ways to get to the question behind the question.
The idea of doing this as a business owner can be frustrating because doing so takes more time. Yes, in the short run it does. But in the long run you save time because you know more about the person and the situation, so whatever decision is made is better than if you rushed to judgment.
The more patient I was, the better a business owner I became.
Problem Solve, Don’t Blame
As a facilitator, I was responsible for helping people take responsibility for what they did. That is hard to do when someone is in denial and being the only person in the room thinking they are blameless.
Instead of asking “Why did you do…?” I learned to ask “What could have been done differently?” By doing so I took any sense of blame away from the inquiry, making it easier for the person to see that maybe they needed to change.
With our employees, I changed from asking “Why did you do…? to “What could we do differently the next time?”
The truth is it is better to look forward then backward. You can’t do anything about the past.
By removing the blame implicit in “Why did you…?” it is easier for the employee to engage in the needed collective problem solving.
Lead by Example, Not Words
At the beginning of each peer group meeting, I set some expectations with the attendees. One was that all phones and other distractions were to be turned off and silenced. Nothing is more annoying than to be addressing an important point with an attendee and have someone’s phone make a noise.
Imagine if I did not turn off my own phone. To make sure that is not the case, I take my phone and turn it off while asking others to do the same.
Working in our company, I had to walk my talk if I wanted our employees to follow my lead. Being on time for all meetings, getting done what I said I would do, and following up in a timely way on items that I had delegated all showed our employees that I was doing what I said I would do. That made it easier for them to follow my lead on most things, as I had credibility with them.
Yes, running a business presents entails different stressors then facilitating a meeting. What I came to learn is that the more you facilitate instead of dominate, the less stress you will feel.
The results include your employees being more productive and happy, your clients getting a better experience and higher quality work, and you are able to leave the business more often while it continues to make money for you.
A leader or a pain in the butt: Which do you want to be known as? You do have a choice.