3. Set ground rules that depersonalize relationships at work. The guy sitting across from you at work is still your father; more importantly, though, he’s your boss.
“Some parents can’t get past the fact that to them, the vice president of sales is still a 12-year-old who won’t pick up his toys,” Lea says. “They can’t shake that image. It can really get in the way of good business judgment, especially when it comes to succession.”
Find ways to depersonalize family relationships at work. Written performance standards can help, as well as unspoken rules of engagement, says Michael Strong, vice president of Brothers Strong in Houston. There is no single cookie-cutter solution. What’s key is that players are willing to sit down and talk as soon as they sense something isn’t working well.
4. Be clear about money. Conflicts over money can be the kryptonite that cripples an otherwise strong business. LeFaivre refers to a company that had to split because one family member didn’t feel he was being paid his due. “Just because your name is on the sign doesn’t mean you’re entitled,” he says.
His company’s solution: a job description list that includes pay-scale information. It specifies the maximum earning potential of each position and outlines what steps will advance you up the scale. No one is left wondering, “Why aren’t I making what she makes?”
Ultimately, Lea says, separating work and family is difficult. But it can be done. The key is being able to put everything on the table with your parents, siblings, or offspring — from the poor performance last week to the untimely demise of Fluffy 20 years ago.
Alice Bumgarner is a freelance writer based in Durham, N.C.