Many of us humans tend to judge ourselves relative to what we think others do. And we usually think they are doing better than we are. I see this frequently when I work with remodeling contractors.
How can you avoid being a prisoner of your imagination?
Focus on What You Can Control
Stephen Covey in “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” writes about aligning one’s circle of concern with one’s circle of influence. If you don’t have the ability to influence something, you will drive yourself crazy continuing to be concerned about it.
You can’t control everything you might be concerned about. Figure out what you can influence and focus on making those things better.
Notice When Things Are Going Right
We seem to take for granted that things will go right. When they do it’s because they are supposed to, so why make a big deal out of those instances?
Because they did go right! Because life went well. Because things don’t always go right!
Even when it seems you are living in a perfect hell, there is always something that went right to pay attention to. It’s your choice whether or not you do.
Learn From What Could Have Gone Better
When something goes wrong, look at it as an opportunity. You learned something doesn’t work. Okay, so now what?
What can you do differently to prevent the same thing from happening again? The idea is to build a body of knowledge that makes it less likely that you’ll make the same mistakes, over and over again. In my experience, the “best” companies do this routinely and they do it with minimal blame.
Light Up on Yourself
I, myself, know how hard it is to not beat one’s self up. I also know that beating one’s self up accomplishes nothing. In fact, it makes you less and less effective.
So, lighten up. Notice what happens, but don’t be a prisoner of things having to go right in order for you to feel good about yourself.
Schedule in breaks to give yourself the space you need for decompression. Engage in activities that pull you out of the business focus so you can be refreshed and, consequently, more effective.
Years of searching for the green grass on the other side of the hill have taught me that it doesn’t exist. Focus on your side of the hill, not the other side. You can positively affect your side, so do what you can to make it greener.
Look forward to my new book, “The Remodeling Life: A Journey from Laggard to Leader.” The book is based on my decades experience working in the remodeling industry as a company co-owner, writer, consultant, and speaker. It will be available online as a print book and an e-book soon!