So much has been written about how to be a better leader/manager. The variety of suggestions leaves you feeling confused about what to work on first. Commonly, the result is that nothing is done and things stay the same.
A driven owner who has good employees often is an owner who tends to overwhelm the employees. The owner’s sense of what is possible makes it difficult for that boss to consider anything the rest of the team suggests. The result often is good employees leaving to work somewhere else.
Why did they leave? What are they looking for? They want to be listened to. It’s that simple.
In my work with companies, I sometimes encounter this situation. Basically, the drive that the owner brings to the company was largely responsible for getting the business to where it is now. But that drive can alienate good people who truly do want a say, at least to be heard and have their point of view considered.
So, what makes a good listener?
Your Full Attention
Even now my brain goes too fast. I need to consciously focus on who I am talking to so that I “get” all they are telling me.
Listening 100% when you are used to talking as much as you want to is tough. It takes practice. What you don’t want to be doing is to be thinking of all the reasons that the person is giving are invalid. That is not listening.
Take Notes
Writing things down is a great way to make you listen better. Slow down the person doing the talking so you can get their points recorded accurately. It might take a little longer, but the impact on the person talking with you is powerful. You are showing them that you think what they are saying is meaningful.
Ask Open-ended Questions
Avoid questioning what the person is saying by using questions that can be answered in “Yes” or “No.” By asking open-ended questions you learn more about what the person thinks. Examples include:
- “What makes that important to you?”
- “How will what you are suggesting benefit the company?”
- “What could be the downsides of the idea we are talking about?”
Questions like those above drive clarification and can only be formulated if you are listening intently.
Consider the Unimaginable
What you might hear when you are listening closely are ideas that just seem off-target. Your buttons might be pushed a bit, so take some deep breaths and remember that what you are hearing is coming from a person who cares a lot about you and your company.
Slow down and let go of your certainty about your way of looking at the situation. It is just a conversation, so be open to hearing what you never thought you would. The people who know the most about what can be improved in a company are the ones closest to the company’s clients and other employees. Most owners, particularly driven ones, are somewhat remote.
It takes a lot of courage for an employee to bring you a new idea, a new way of looking at things. The least you can do is take seriously what you are hearing.
Address What Comes Next
Most big ideas take more than one conversation to hash out. Schedule another interaction and agree on who will do what between this interaction and the next one.
Make sure you do what you say you are going to do. If you don’t, you can’t hold your employee accountable for doing what they said they would do.
Over time, I realized that an employee’s compensation included me listening to them. The more a leader/manager listens to an employee, the less important pay is in the hierarchy of values for the employee.
Your attention is priceless. Give it wholeheartedly and watch untapped potential in your employees be realized.
Listening just takes a little longer than you steamrolling over everyone does. The upside is less cleanup is required!