A contractor I consult with sent me the following:
Paul, I have had two clients in the past week who have told me that their spouses will not be present for our first meeting. I explain that due to the amount of information we cover, we need to have all decision-makers in attendance. The first client was mad and just canceled.
The second has been going back and forth with me via email all day. At first her husband couldn’t come. Then she said he can be on a conference call with us. Then he may join us 30 minutes after we start, but only if he doesn’t end up having a meeting.
I knew I was going to make the lady mad last week, and ultimately, I did, and she canceled.
I explain that in order for this to be productive for all of us, it is critical that we all attend. I usually get a response like “well, I can relay it to my husband” or “I am the one making the decisions, husband (or wife) will do whatever I want anyway”, yet I know with almost 100% certainty that meetings with only one spouse will end with “let me talk to my wife.”
Any suggestions or tips?
I can relate. It was sometimes a challenge when I was the salesperson for our company to get all the decision-makers to meet with me.
We had a couple of projects where we were told “My spouse won’t be involved so there is no reason to meet them.” We always ended up meeting the spouse, sometimes when the project was supposed to be over, but had ran long because of changes made by the other spouse! Not a fun time to meet, particularly the time they turned out to be a retired military officer.
Here are some things that might work to prevent this from happening.
“Flexible” Meeting Times
Meeting with both spouses early in the process of them choosing a contractor is important. For me all I needed to do was to shake hands with the “busy” spouse and have a bit of chit-chat. I needed to take their measure and to have them take mine.
A good fit was part of what we were selling. How can you have a meaningful discussion about something important to the project if when you do that, you are meeting the person for the first time?
We did not do appointments on the weekends or evenings. Boy, you wouldn’t believe how people complained about that. I told them that I generally meet with people during the same hours the other professionals they worked with did, people like their doctor or dentist or lawyer.
I would do early morning appointments, 7AM and later. I can’t remember doing anything earlier than that but, who knows, I wouldn’t have minded because those early morning appointments rarely run long.
Why? Everybody has things to do and they want to get on with what they have scheduled.
As long as I could look the “busy” spouse in the eye, shake their hand and talk briefly with them, I was fine.
Believe it or not every once in a while, one of those important types would suddenly decide to stay and be engaged in the meeting! You never know.
The Realities of a Remodeling Project
Part of what I would tell a prospect over the phone was that having a remodeling project designed and built was like taking on another job. All the decisions to be made and all the meetings to attend will stress them and make them second guess themselves at some point in the project.
Add all that on to their regular jobs and the dealing with the demands of a household could drive someone crazy.
“Were they sure they wanted to go through all that? Why was this house the right house?”
I would even suggest that they consider selling their house. Better to talk to a real estate professional now about other places to live because at some point in the remodel you’ll have wished you did.
Then I might tell the prospect, if they had been saying their other spouse was too busy to meet, “That given all that, doesn’t it make sense we all meet, at least once to get acquainted?”
Amazingly enough, often they decided it did.
Sometimes you’ve got to make them scared to have them listen to you.
Teach the Prospect How to Sell
So, you’ve tried what I suggested earlier, and the prospect simply will not budge regarding their spouse being present for that first meeting.
Otherwise, the prospect is decent, and you are communicating with them well. Plus, the project would be a good one, and in a neighborhood where your company has done a lot of work.
Now what?
Teach the prospect how to sell you and your company to their absent spouse.
On the phone call, walk them through all the problems they have with their home. Ask lots of open-ended, clarifying questions, like “What’s it like living with that 40-year-old kitchen? What are you not able to do that you would do once it was remodeled? How does it feel to not have the relatives over because the embarrassment you say you experience when you look at your current kitchen?” And so on.
Take it a step further.
“What does your spouse say when having a remodel done is discussed? How many hours a day do they spend in the house? What, if anything, about the current condition of the house are they concerned about or drives them crazy?”
“How are you going to choose a contractor? What’s important to you when making that decision? What are you most afraid of when thinking of hiring a remodeling company?”
Write down their answers to all these questions.
Then recap the main points from what they told you, having them tell you them again. Go slowly, make sure they understand that you understand them.
Finally, ask if now it makes more sense for them, their spouse and you to meet. Suggest that they go over the conversation you and they just had with their spouse and then let you know how they might want to proceed.
If you do all of what I suggested, and they still don’t want to meet, then refer the prospect to your competitors who you want to be busy chasing business that doesn’t fit your model. The goal is to work for people who want to allow you to manage them and who, therefore, will follow your process.
Remember, all prospects are not a fit for all contractors, and vice versa. That is not bad or good, it’s just the way it is.
Sometimes you can make a lot of money by not doing a project!