Robin Burrill of Curb Appeal Renovations, in Keller, Texas, has also had better outcomes using Crucial Confrontations strategies. Warm and emotive by nature, she has cried and once “almost threw up” talking with employees about performance issues. Now she steels herself beforehand, distilling the issues and goals.
In a recent such meeting, “I took the emotion out of it and basically stuck to the facts, and it went well,” she says. “It wasn’t, ‘You’re doing a terrible job,’ but, ‘We want you to succeed, and here’s what you need to do to make some major improvements.’”
ACTING IT OUT Metzler Remodeling used the techniques outlined in Crucial Confrontations to survive an aggressive growth plan that was threatening to destroy its cohesive and friendly culture.
The Kansas City company had embraced the design/build model, moved into a new facility, developed more systems, and made key personnel changes including terminations, new hires, and some restructuring of existing staff.
With growth came pains that were both chronic and acute. “We were dropping the ball everywhere,” says Randy Metzler, president. Personality clashes also erupted. The former production manager was a stickler for detail but had been “stepping on my carpenters’ toes, and a lot of resentment built up,” he says. Metzler moved the man into the estimator position, where he and the new architect began sniping behind each other’s backs.
Other relationships were more directly confrontational, such as when a new salesperson blew up at a quiet drafting assistant after an error that was clearly the salesperson’s fault. In hindsight, the incident was the breaking point in a series of increasingly tense moments among Metzler’s staff, an easygoing group that was taken aback by the salesperson’s seemingly hard-charging manner.
After seeing Ron McMillan speak at a conference, Metzler came back with the intent to “focus on the fact that we had this friction, and it wasn’t being talked about.” Working with business coach Trevor Ralston and office manager Laura Lane, he developed training aimed at giving “more permission to our staff to take responsibility for constructively dealing with problems in a safe manner,” he says.
Role-playing was critical to the training’s success. In scenarios based on real as well as fictionalized problems, one person — “the confronter” — described “the gap” between his or her expectations and the other person’s behavior. He or she then invited the other person to discuss possible solutions. From the sideline, Metzler employees were encouraged to weigh in with their observations: how well the issues were defined, whether the confrontations were effective, what could have made them more effective.
After the training, the design assistant spearheaded a crucial confrontation with the salesperson. Lane facilitated, and the conversation was productive and revealing. The salesperson was surprised to hear that the others thought she had bad intentions. “Both came away with their integrity intact,” Metzler says.
In the time since, constructive engagement has become a part of the culture at Metzler Remodeling, reinforced through ongoing discussions and follow-up training. “Even today I’ll hear people referring to how they need to have a crucial confrontation with so-and-so,” he says. “Or even, how they’ve done a bit more homework before deciding how to go about talking to someone.”